Forgiveness

This morning I found myself caught in the all too familiar eddy of anger, fear, guilt, sadness, and wounding that is the story of my family of origin. My father sent me a text message essentially asking me to jump into it.
I declined, but internally joined him anyway. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I made breakfast.

I asked myself "How did I get here again? Why, at nearly 31 years of age, do I still find myself weeping in a confused and uncomfortable mess because of the actions of others?" Usually these are rhetorical questions.
Not today.
The answer was immediate. A clear and bright flash of understanding.

Oh yeah, because I was allowing it.

Until this moment forgiveness has always been practice. An "act as if" life-style. Something I understood intellectually and applied out of faith.

Feeling like a classical cellist who practices every day of her life, fingers raw and bleeding, until the music just flows into her. I understood.

I chose another way.

This decision transported me in science fiction time/space warp style to a whole new place. The place from which I am writing this. A place I hope I get to hang out in for a good long while. Grace, gratitude, and calm surround me. My mind feels clear. My heart, warm and light.
I can still see the story and the pain of others, but from a place of grace it does not directly affect me. From this place I can hold real forgiveness and unconditional love, offering both fully. I can witness the suffering without joining in.
Freedom. At last.

Continuing My Work

I am a healer. I was born this way.

Finding the language to explain or describe what this means has always been a challenge for me. I grew up with certain gifts and sensitivities that haven't always been easy parts of myself to accept.

When I was a kid I would be playing at a friends house and I'd "hear" my mom telling me I needed to call her right away. Many miles away, she always answered the phone surprised, with a "How Weird". When I asked her at age 8 what those bright and colorful lights around people were she gave me a strange look and I knew she didn't know what I was talking about. In high school my friends teased me for talking to plants. I thought I was crazy for many years. So did my family.

After an extremely difficult struggle with depression in my early 20's I was done. Exhausted and with no hope for a "normal" life I took an overdose of prescription medication. I awoke in the hospital the next morning, angry that I had been saved.
I looked in the mirror and what I saw and heard in my reflection changed my life forever. I "heard" my highest self say, "You aren't finished here yet. You'd better find what your here to do and get to it, or your life will continue to be hell."

Over the next ten years I devoted myself to healing, self-acceptance, honing my gifts, and doing what I'm here to do. Everything just sort of fell into place. And now, at 30 I am really excited about and proud of what I once felt ashamed of. I am now using the gifts and sensitivities along with the healing tools I've been given to make a difference in the lives of others. This is the best job ever! I feel so honored and joyful that this is what I get to do in this life.

From one of my clients and students:
I started working with Katrina about a year ago. When I came to her I was suffering from chronic depression and anxiety. I had been on Prozac and Colazepam for 3 years, and other medications for several years prior. I had no idea what to expect from her work. I new nothing about chakras or metaphysical healing practices of any kind. In fact, prior to our first session, I apologized in advance just in case I started laughing.

By the end of our first session, I knew that something special had happened. I felt a sense of balance and calm that was new for me. But watching my life change over the next couple of weeks was the most interesting. Things just fell in to place easier.

After 3 months of working with Katrina I was drug free for the first time in probably 9 years. I believe this is the direct result of her energy work. But perhaps more importantly, she taught me the importance of being fully present in my life and how to take responsibility for my own healing. She taught me the skills I needed to be my own healer.

One year later, my life feels completely different. I feel connected. I feel inspired. I feel grateful. I'm discovering purpose and meaning in my life. I have a better sense of my true path and the courage to step onto that path.

I am discovering magic and enchantment everywhere I look, thanks to Katrina and I am forever grateful.

Morgan Case


"Not by me but through me!"

Begining

2012 finds me living on the East coast. I am a mountain girl. Moreover, a desert-mountain-girl. I have grown up to thrive on open sky and the wildness of the West.

This place doesn't feel like home. I am learning the importance of impermanence. I am excavating the heart of who I truly am, without attachment to definitions of home and place. I am coming to know this process as either pain or freedom, depending on my degree of gratitude and surrender in any given moment. This is beauty...all of my favorite colors.

The Atlantic provides the same comfort of a strangers' smile in a foreign land. The colors here are friendly and the light brings deep silent inspiration. If I cease resistance long enough I can feel the faint whispering of the salty air, the clean and vibrant sun reminding me.

Winter has delivered it's permission slip for rest and ease. Standing on the shores of the mightily frigid salty sea, her ferocity chills as wind whips through me, hollowing me out and making room for whats to come. Or perhaps teaching me to find a place to rest in the emptiness.